


Goose

by happy_birthday_diane_use_a_pretty_font



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, dreamland - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy_birthday_diane_use_a_pretty_font/pseuds/happy_birthday_diane_use_a_pretty_font
Summary: Takes place right after the last episode of Dreamland: Krieger wants to skip town, but his lounge lizard won’t let go.





	Goose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thylacinu (twinkinu)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkinu/gifts).



> I love how different Dreamland Ray is from sassy, confident normal Ray, and I’ve been dying to write a piece about him!   
> And I hope you enjoy the 40’s slang!

When the smoke cleared, the shouting and snarling was over, and everyone was gone, Ray emerged from behind the stage. He was, to his confusion, greeted by an ungodly cat-robot hybrid. His first reaction was fear, but as he blessed himself, the cat merely cocked its head, sat down, and started grooming itself. He deduced that it wasn’t unfriendly. His theory was supported when he took a step towards it, and it stood and scampered off. Ray followed; he was headed in that direction anyway.

Another surprising sight graced his eyes. He’d intended to peek behind the bar, hoping Krieger would be there, and discovered a wide open hatch behind the counter. He heard clanking and grunting that he recognized as Krieger. 

The cat wanted to descend the steps, but could only paw at them nervously; evidently they were too steep for his hind legs to handle. Ray took a deep breath, picked him up like a baby, and headed downstairs.

Upon hearing the creaking steps, Krieger called, “I’ve already killed so many people today, one more won’t make a – oh. Gillette. You might want to put him down.”

Ray was peering around in horror, not noticing the cat licking his face.

_ “Schnuckiputzi! Hör auf!” _

When the cat hopped down to the ground, Ray finally spoke. “You really  _ are _ a Nazi!”

“Now, that depends on who you ask.”

“I’m askin’ you.”

“Then, no. Or  _ Nein.” _

“Then what’s all this?!”

“No time to explain.”

Ray noticed the bed and pile of clothes. “Oh, ho- _ ney _ , do you live down here?”

“Yup. Well, I did.” He turned and went back to shoving twisted metal tools, glass jars full of spooky things, and rattling boxes into a large crate.

“I see why you never invited me to your place.”

“Yup.” He began nailing the crate shut.

“Are you moving out?”

He chuckled. “I’m moving away.”

“Why?”

“ _ Why?!  _ Didn’t you see what just happened up there? It’ll be a miracle if I can catch my train on time!” He slid the crate onto a hand truck.

“Where’re you going?”

“I can’t tell you that.” 

“So, you’re leavin’ me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re leaving me.”

_ “Mein Gott.  _ I’m not  _ leaving you  _ any more than I’m leaving everybody else.”

“But we–”

“We what? Hit the hay a few times? I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that doesn’t exactly make us married.”

“Why not?”

“I...What?”

Ray had his arms over his chest, hugging himself, looking at the ground to avoid the atrocities around him. “Why aren’t we...not married, maybe, but more than nothing?”

“Oh,  _ mein Gott.” _

“Listen to me! We’re friends, we’ve been friends for years, and we’ve been makin’ love for most of that–”

“We didn’t  _ make–” _

“So what’s the difference between that and being, y’know, together?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Emotional investment? Romantic interest?”

Ray met Krieger’s eyes and stepped toward him. Krieger hardly looked away even to blink. His expression had softened by the time Ray was right in front of him, though the change was so subtle that no one but Ray himself would’ve been able to detect it.

He leaned in (and upward, for Krieger was a fair bit taller than he was), but didn’t touch his lips to Krieger’s. Instead he said, “Fine. Then I’ll see ya.” He turned and strode away.

“Gillette? Gillette!” He followed. 

“Don’t you have a train to catch?”

Krieger grabbed Ray’s shoulder, spun him around, and kissed him.

“Now, why’d you have to go and do that?”

“I don’t have a choice. I have no choice but to leave.”

Ray didn’t reply.

“What do you want me to do? Stay here and get caught?”

“Man, you’re a real chucklehead.”

_ “Was?” _

“Take me with you, dummy!”

Krieger was shocked. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t.”

“C’mon, lamb. We’ll pose as–”

“What, husband and wife?”

_ “Partners.” _

“So, husband and husband? Call me a fuddy-duddy, but I don’t see that working out.”

“No, you ass. I’ll be the research assistant, and you be the doctor!”

He licked his lips. “What’re we researching?”

“I dunno.  _ You’re _ the doctor, you tell me.”

Krieger’s jaw was clenched tight. He searched Ray’s eyes for insincerity. “You’re sure you’re not just khaki-whacky?”

“Babydoll, I ain’t short on active duty boys. I want you.”

He tried to sigh, but found himself short of breath. “Alright.”

“Really?”

“Yup, yup, yup,” he said, grabbing his hand truck and wheeling it to the steps. He looked between the rickety ladder and the huge box. There was no obvious way to get it upstairs. “And I guess it’s just going to be the three of us and the shirts on our backs.”

“Three of us?”

Krieger held out his arm, and Schnuckiputzi hopped on and climbed to his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

 

They took Ray’s car to the train station. Ray drove while Krieger hid in the backseat. When they got to the station, Ray threw on a pair of Levi’s and a flannel, clothes he kept in the trunk so he could bounce from work straight to the bar. It occurred to Krieger that he’d never seen him in anything but his white band suit and the nude. He was more broad-shouldered than Krieger would have predicted.

It was close, but they caught their train to New York just in time. Once he felt the wheels start rolling, Krieger breathed a sigh of relief. Ray gazed out the window, dreamy-eyed. 

After supper in the dining car – corned beef, brussels sprouts, and orange sherbet for dessert – they snuck into the bathroom together to fool around. They justified it by calling it much-needed decompression.

When he straightened up, wiping his lip, Ray said, “Y’know, men and women don’t do head-work.”

“How would you know,  _ bubbela?” _ He was sloppily nipping Ray’s neck, not expecting a real answer.

“I was married.”

_ “What?!” _

“Uh-huh. I’d never even heard of jam eatin’ until I moved to Los Angeles. But I don’t think that relationship was all that reliable; I married her ‘cause she was a real Rosie the Riveter type, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s a good match.”

“I guess so.” He cupped Krieger’s cheek and kissed him. He hummed. “But nothin’ beats that beard.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> my archer tumblr is @agent-randy; head over for art and writing!


End file.
